"I've got your back."

I am assuring you that I am watching out for you. I'm making sure you are safe because I am watching what's behind you when you're busy looking ahead.

"I've got your back." It's an expression of trust.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about trust. Meditating, watching, learning. Essentially, you will trust me because you have experienced my trustworthiness and because you have faith in human nature, and I will trust you similarly. But trust is tricky because it is both an emotional and logical act.

I also "feel" trust. When I identify emotions of companionship, friendship, agreement, relaxation, and comfort, I feel trust.

Emotionally, it is where I expose my vulnerabilities to people, but believe they will not take advantage of my openness. And logically, it is where I have assessed the probabilities of gain and loss, and concluded that the person (or group) in question will behave in a predictable manner.

So trust means being able to "predict" what other people will do in the situations that may occur. If we can surround ourselves with people we trust, then we can create a fertile present and an even better future. But sometimes trust means making an exchange and commitment when we don't have full knowledge about them, their intent, and the things they are offering to us. That's when I rely on those feelings. Only if they are present, may I proceed.

In trust, something is given now but the return is paid back some time in the future. Feeling trust now becomes particularly important, because otherwise we are giving something for nothing. The delay we have placed in the reciprocal arrangement adds a high level of uncertainty which we need to mitigate through trust. And as long as the feelings of companionship, friendship, agreement, relaxation, and comfort flow, I can feel safe in my relationship.

When we trust other people, we are not only giving them something in hope of getting something else back in the future, we are also exposing ourselves in a way that they can take advantage of our vulnerabilities. So trusting is enabling other people to take advantage of you—but expecting that they won't.

I don't need to watch my back around those I trust. But I do need to trust you to watch out for me when I'm focused forward, forging ahead, blazing the trail for both of us. And you need to trust me not to change direction without telling you I've lost the compass. You don't expect me to change the rules of our relationship. You don't expect me to take advantage of your generous nature, or your willingness to wait for reciprocity. You don't expect to feel abandonment, conflict, suspicion, alert, or discomfort.

So think about trust, meditate on how it works, and carefully, consciously build it. Feel for companionship, friendship, agreement, relaxation, and comfort. Let others know you've got their back. If you do, people will give you the world. But know as well, that if you betray trust, sooner or later you will be haunted to the ends of the earth by the ghosts of your conscience. Trust is a sacred bond.
May you be blessed.

Choosing the company to keep

"Size matters not. Look at me.
Judge me by my size, do you?
Hmm? Hmm.
And well you should not.
For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is."
―Yoda, wise master of the Force and teacher of Jedi, to Luke Skywalker

In that moment, Yoda made an impact that stayed with me today. I know that if my ally is respect, wisdom, honesty, fairness, strength, integrity, and kindness, and if I keep company with those who share my values, I will be blessed, and powerful, indeed. My reputation for upholding those values will magnetize 'the Force" to my worthy causes, and I will find the ability to create and share many things. I must only choose to surround myself with those who are also in alignment with that force, and together our efforts will multiply tenfold.

"Tell me what company you keep and I'll tell you what you are."
–Miguel de Cervantes

I'm not saying it's right, but people tend to judge you by the company you keep. When it comes to reputation, perception is reality in the minds of most. Therefore, if my associates and affiliates are negatively perceived, my own effectiveness may be diminished.

Perhaps it may be more beneficial not to worry what other people think and simply be mindful of my own actions. Consistently living my life with integrity enables me to feel at peace with myself. In the end, that is far more important than trying to change perceptions and labels about those people and situations that are beyond my control.

Life is a series of hellos and good-byes. It is about attaching, connecting, and often separating and then detaching, disconnecting and letting go. Not all connections are healthy ones. Toxic, unhealthy relationships are those fueled by disrespect, that leave us feeling depleted rather than energized and valued.

When we find ourselves having made a relational mistake we first have to honor our self respect, and accept and transform that mistake into a growth opportunity. Recognizing and then letting go of toxic relating is a necessary loss that makes room for all the new that awaits you.

Creative energy is fueled by respect, honesty, integrity, and kindness.
Healthy relationships can live on no less.
May the Force Be With You!

Full quote: “Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship.”