Exploring the Shadows of Compasssion

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My attention was turned to the concept of compassion. Webster’s dictionary defines compassion as, "Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it; pity." 

Hmmm... that didn't "feel" quite right to me. So I sat with it for a moment...

OK, compassion is an emotion: a feeling in motion, therefore it is a tool for moving forward. But as all tools, it can be used in a positive or negative manner. Yes, fire can cook soup for your loved ones or burn your enemy's house down.

It really bothered me that Webster uses the term pity when defining compassion, because Webster defines pity as, "a feeling of sorrow that inclines one to help or to show mercy." Well, yes, mercy is often a motive for rescuing another from pain. And we have been taught that mercy is good. Yet, from a higher perspective, pity and mercy are seen as terms that define someone who is a victim, not a perfect soul...

I could feel Aha moment about to root.

I have come to feel that pity is an active form of judgment with the suffering of another being judged as "bad." So with this in mind, can it be that compassion has become also a tool of judgment, twisted in its teaching and application to add to our collective suffering?  Have we been bamboozled by believing we were helping?  Moment sprouting, reaching for light...

I am reminded of a quote, "Don't let the hand that holds you hold you down."

It won't if we understand compassion as a deep awareness of the suffering of another without the need to relieve it, feeling total appreciation for its value; a state of non-judgment.

This is tricky, really tricky I know, because we have to stretch our minds to embrace another point of view that is quite foreign to us The thought that someone’s suffering can have a value is not normal thinking in our world.  But, it is the kind of thinking we have been taught that God does. “God is compassionate, God is unconditionally loving.” We hear those words, and believe them, and yet do not comprehend how to reach those states of consciousness. But, how do we get to the level of unconditional love and compassion?

The blossom: We must move into the realm of non-judgment, leaving pity behind.

To become truly compassionate we must suspend all judgment of the actions, or conditions, of another. We must be aware of those actions, how painful they are and at the same time realize that they have a value and that value pertains to the role they play in facilitating our spiritual growth as souls.  It has been said by many teachers that we are souls having a physical experience. We are souls who have come to earth to partake of the greatest opportunity for soul growth.

Why is it a great opportunity? Because Earth is a "free will zone" meaning that there are no limits on creative expression of light and dark. It has also been said that we are creator gods and goddesses and therefore we create our own realities. So if we are souls that are also creator gods/goddesses, and we are incarnate on earth to create in order to learn and grow from what we create, I think that we find those lessons most often in the shadows, in the creations which include both light and dark.

It’s true that our dark creations are the ones that cause us pain. I don’t think anyone will dispute that. But, as we who have evolved a bit know, we learn the most from our painful experiences. And in fact, it is out of the shadows that we grow: not from our light manifestations but into them. Our light manifestations are the rewards we create for ourselves for creating, experiencing and learning from the dark days.

When we pity someone we state by our action that what they are experiencing is bad and therefore negative. As souls and creator gods/goddesses, there is no right or wrong, just expressions of polarity and all of those expressions have value. We need to remain non-judgmental, allowing all expressions of creation to just be...  non-judgmental, allowing and unconditionally loving as manifestations of the Divine.

So, dare to explore the depths of our creation. Do not hide or run from what we have created. No matter how dark, ugly, disgusting and painful that creation is, we must realize that not only are we responsible for it because it is part of All That Is, and we find must value in it as a learning opportunity. We must bless the depths and say, "thank you."

I have found that many Lightworkers are either not aware that they need to do this or are unwilling to do it. They believe that by not looking at the dark, not researching and investigating the "official story" being given, that they are doing the right thing... in other words, they are not adding fuel to the fire by responding in anger or feeling the need for restitution. On one hand they are correct, but what they are missing is that they are not doing anything to counterbalance the event. 

I have had many conversations with well-intentioned Lightworkers, informing me that they are staying centered in the love no matter what and therefore, are not acknowledging the dark thinking... and that if they don’t acknowledge the bad and the ugly, it will go away. I can tell you if it did, I would be the first in line to do it. But you know me, if it's rotten and it stinks, I'm going to poke it with a stick until I learn my lesson!

Yes, my friends, my first step is to know the extent of the actions of the dark, however they manifest.  It’s not fun and, in fact, it can very painful.  Some of what I have discovered and uncovered turns my stomach and hurts my feelings but I would rather have these things happen than to be naïve.  Knowledge is power. When we know what we are up against, we can do something about it. We are empowered. We have choice.

Once we know the extent of the dark, we can then move to the next step: transmutation. This is where our higher dimensional creator tools come into play.  We cannot transmute the pain, anger, revulsion and disgust into compassion unless we have a tool that enables us to see their value. We did not choose to be here on earth at this time without a tool that would enable us to successfully complete the mission!

As creator gods/goddesses we take this tool and transmute the energies of our dark creation. We go right ahead and feel and express the anger, revulsion, etc., and move them up through our lower charkas, through our heart and into our high heart where they are transmuted.  Once there, we hold them in our high heart while we look for their value, we move into gratitude for the teachings they provide. At the same time we release them with appreciation along with those who played the roles to trigger those feelings in us. At that point, we feel compassion and we are compassionate. We are also now doing what we really came to earth to do!

As Lightworkers we understand that we must now create an alternate reality to the previous one. We must create a reality that not only counterbalances the dark but also takes us to the next level in our learning.  So, we invest time in transmuting all the dark energies from our current creation, using every drop of darkness to use as fuel that we transmute to energize our new reality, and our next steps.  We step out of the shadow and use the tool of true compassion to move our world to an even higher state of consciousness. Unconditional Love.

May you be blessed!

Attention! You are being ignored!

As some of you know, I've had phone issues for the past week or so.

So this morning I've been struggling to set up a new telephone, and its very complicated somehow. Since I last purchased a telephone there have been many options added, layers of settings, privacy screens, notifications, voice mail connections, forwards to other devices, caller id menus... all ways to stay connected, and when I really thought about it – all ways to ignore people...

...someone has made the effort to reach out to me, someone needs or wants to talk to me, and I am given at least a half-dozen options to pretend that they do not. I am struck by how easy we have made it to ignore and dismiss another human being and we’re convinced it’s not only acceptable, but appropriate.

I got to thinking about the larger phenomena of "being ignored."
I've known that feeling of being ignored.
Have you ever asked a direct question and not been answered?
You have been sent the message, “I think you are insignificant.”
Think about it.

Well, it's rude. Borderline passive/aggressive. And, we have been able to desensitize ourselves from our rude behavior. I'm not talking about needing to take a message when you're engaged elsewhere. And, I'm not talking about clicking the porn queen's unfollow button or hitting the ignore button when faced with the thirteenth invitation to play Mafia Wars. I'm not talking about responding to spam.

I'm talking about choosing to ignore, out of arrogance, or immaturity... or fear.

Love. It's the basis of the human need to connect and should be the starting and ending points of any communication, personal or not. We all need to remember that there are REAL human beings behind the phone calls, emails, texts, and all the other ways we use to communicate with each other.

What happens if you imagine making eye contact with who ever’s request, question, idea or sentiment you’ve chosen to ignore? On a soul level you already are. Pretend what you will.

If someone contacts me and reveals a personal vulnerability, I need to realize that required courage. And courage should always be applauded, validated, and recognized. I think we might need a refresher memo with every new phone, application, and social techno-gadgetry on how to stand up and be human, and do it in a respectful and meaningful way. How to be intentional, transparent, and honest. How to stay human in the virtual world. I'm going to try to be mindful of the temptation to hide behind my technology. I'm going to look you in the eye, wherever you may be.

If you are being ignored, don’t be afraid to speak out. You were given a voice for a reason. But...

"The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them." — Maya Angelou

That's really good advice. Don’t keep going to the same well if the well is dry. If you open up all lines of communication and are still being ignored, that person doesn’t deserve your attention. There are many more wonderful people out there listening for your voice.

May you be blessed!

Image credit: www.zazzle.com/ignored+gifts

The gift of being present

It has been said time and time again that some of the best things in life are free. I couldn't agree more. After all, how much does a kind word, a warm embrace, a pleasant smile, or a simple "thank you" cost to give? Not a penny, although they are indeed priceless gifts.

And, acts of kindness and gratitude are endless gifts that keep on giving...

I know that in my own life, I make an effort to communicate appreciation, happiness, kindness, and gratitude whenever I can. I try to function within the awareness that it is my responsibilty to convey an acknowledgement of the gift that every interaction – with everyone I am privileged to meet – presents to me each and every day. I try to be truly present, open, and enthusiastic. As this has become my habit, I have discovered some amazing revelations taking place in my life. Each day is even better than the day before, as my life takes on a heightened sense of direction, meaning, purpose, and unwavering support.

I love spending time around people who maintain an ever present upbeat approach to life. Earth Angels who believe in themselves and others. Those who trust that the Universe is unfolding as it should. These wide eyed optimists, who routinely greet me with a cheerful hello and a lingering touch, brighten my day and the day of everyone they meet. When you ask them how they're doing, they'll quickly tell you "just fabulous, awesome!"

You believe them because you simply have no choice.

They say it with such enthusiasm and excitement, their zest and zeal for living drawing you in like a powerful magnet, that you suddenly start feeling better yourself. Then, before you know it, you've been swept up into their euphoric state of being. Just being in the same room with people who love life this much is a special privilege indeed. And a healing. And a catalyst.

These luminous individuals, who bring happiness to the world around them, are truly precious gifts from God.

Marcel Proust said, "Let's be grateful for those who give us happiness; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls bloom."

Simply stated, by making us feel better about ourselves, our lives and those around us, they make our world a better place. They give the gift of presence!

So, it's Tuesday again, the perfect day to decide right now to become that shining beacon of hope, happiness and all good things for those around you! By regularly showing others how much they mean to you and that their efforts are truly appreciated, you can start making the world a better place one person at a time. I think that deepest desire in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. When you let someone know that you appreciate them, you offer that individual the best gift you could ever give.

"Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well."
– Voltaire

You'll begin enjoying more happiness, fulfillment and tranquility than you ever dreamed was possible as the life you've always imagined comes to life right before your eyes. As you continue to give more and more of yourself to others, more and more good fortune will find its way into your life. Guaranteed. It's just the way it is.

What goes around most certainly comes around as well. The Universe is unfolding as it should.

May you be blessed!

Thank you for your rude behavior

I encounter at least a few everyday. The forum troll, the family member full of toxic resentment, the driver who must cut me off to take the parking space, the neighbor who has nothing good to say about anything. The know-it-all, the back-stabber, the poor-me-victim.

It is true that difficult people drain our energy, put us on edge, and arouse in us uncomfortable feelings of frustration, impatience, anger, and sometimes – sadly– even the desire for revenge.

I was taught that the best way to deal with annoying people is to ignore them. When my children were small, I told them that when we meet such people, we should just walk away.

But from a spiritual perspective I have seen another possibility. Tolerance. Compassion. Self-awareness.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the best way, the highest, most compassionate way to respond to difficult people. First, I don't ignore them. I don't walk away from them. Instead, I allow myself to be touched by their neediness; and patiently listen to their questions and complaints. Saint Susan? No, a human being present with that negative energy without judging it, recognizing the gift in the difficult encounter.

I can show compassion because I recognize the suffering, fear, confusion, and pain that is behind the annoying behavior. I can accept the presence of difficult people in my life and have compassion for them, recognizing that these individuals can be my spiritual teachers, showing me what I might be reluctant to learn on my own.

I ask myself, "What is it with this person? What exactly is he or she doing that upsets me? And why is this such a big deal for me?" I try to objective about this, and not judge either the person or myself for my reaction. I simply observe the dynamics of the interaction.

Then, I try to make a shift in perspective. I try to see how this person may be forcing me to push past something I resist admitting about myself. What qualities does this person possess that I would like to eliminate in my own being? This is the tricky part!

I think that the most powerful option for dealing with a difficult person is our own personal growth. Inner change inevitably leads to outer change. I have learned to take a deep breath, shift my expression into a smile, and say this little prayer when I find myself face-to-face with a difficult person:

"Well, OK, here comes another one! If there are any helpers around me now, I ask you to guide me, stay with me here. This person has been sent to me for a reason. Help me to know what it is, and help me to practice tolerance and compassion."

And you know, it works! The negativity is diffused and I am usually gifted with an ahah! moment I might have missed if I had hurried away from the encounter in silence and judgement. Our world is full of suffering, fear, confusion, and pain. Annoying behavior is the symptom, not the cause. The difficult person is a mirror for what we can change in our world and in ourselves. Inner change will lead to outer change. With a breath, a smile, and a moment of compassion.

May you be blessed!

How an attack by a troll in America sent a flock of chicks to South Africa... a true story!

Yesterday I was attacked by a troll. I was not under a bridge, nor was I performing in a stage adaptation of a children's fairy tale, or daydreaming in a parallel universe. I was at my desk and I was chatting online in an internet forum. A forum troll is a person who posts a message that is intended to upset, disrupt or insult a person or group. It took me by complete surprise, because I live in a state of awareness where violence is rarely able to find a toe-hold around me.

I happened to be engaged in a discussion about the degradation of the nutritional value in our food sources including contamination, and bio-engineered and genticaly-altered products and concerns about health risks associated with processed and fast foods. These are subjects that interest me and as many of you know, I work with several global projects which focus on education, nutrition, and sustainable agriculture.

Whamm! I won't repeat the name calling and barrage of insults that were flung at me, and at the group in general by the troll. It's simply not important. But what is important is that it got me thinking. I did some research. And, I ended up sending love, not only to the troll, but to the world. I remembered this quote:

"In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher."- the Dali Llama

I would guess that most trolls are feeling weak, sad, perhaps living lonely lives. Disrupting a group, or a community, gives the illusion of power. Like a needy child, for a troll, any response is recognition, and they are most likely unable to distinguish between irritation and admiration; their ego grows directly in proportion to the response, regardless of the form or content of that response. Trolls, although they would never admit it, are looking for love.

As the mother of three grown boys, I learned many years ago that the only way to stop negative attention seeking behavior is to ignore it. And so, I disengaged from the conversation immediately. But I also know that this behavior often happens because someone is feeling neglected or unimportant.

So, I made a donation Heifer. Heifer builds sustainable communities. They've developed a set of global initiatives – areas of emphasis that must be addressed if we’re to meet our mission of ending world hunger and poverty and caring for the earth. They serve those often neglected or deemed unimportant in the world of commerce and capitalism.

From their website, here is a list of the projects that my donation will support:

Agroecology
In a world where land is overused, community members need to learn how to protect and rejuvenate their land, water and other natural resources. Heifer helps by teaching environmentally sound agricultural techniques.

Animal Well-Being
Before any Heifer animal is passed along to a project partner, Heifer trains the new recipient in animal management, using Animal Welfare Guidelines.

Gender Equity
In Heifer's view, gender equity is a social justice and human rights issue that directly leads to ending hunger and poverty.

HIV-AIDS
Today, we as a world community, confront AIDS, a virus that in the past 25 years has either infected or killed over 64 million people. It is not only a health issue, as it fractures every sector of society, and for Heifer, it is a prominent concern in the arena of sustainable development. This is why Heifer is incorporating HIV/AIDS education in our community training groups.

Microenterprise
Heifer provides both "no-interest living loans" in the form of livestock, as well as small monetary loans to help people start and expand businesses that yield big benefits for families.

Urban Agriculture
Heifer is reconnecting city-dwellers with their food sources, building strong alliances and instilling an entrepreneurial spirit among adults and youth through our Urban Agriculture projects.

As I said, I imagine this troll behavior happens when one is feeling neglected or unimportant. Well, my troll, you are important! By forgetting who you truly are, you helped me to remember who I truly am. Every once in a while I guess I need a catalyst to get moving and engage in projects in which I can open to love, compassion, and forgiveness in new ways. So, I thank you for your kindness.

As the Dalai Llama teaches,"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. "
Namaste.

Bathing in Blessings: Compassion

In this Sunday morning series, "Bathing in Blessings," I am sharing powerful formulas that combine energies of minerals, herbs, and essential oils that you can use to make wonderful elixirs. For basic directions on how to make and use synergistic elixirs, please refer to the blog archives (right) and read the blog posted on Sunday, December 28, 2008, "Bathing in Blessings Lesson One: Forgiveness."

Today we're going to create an elixir which stablizes and integrates issues around compassion. The heart is where we give and receive love and compassion. The heart chakra is the home of these emotions, these attributes that connect us all. We are born of unconditional love, in unconditional love, and as unconditional love. We are love. We are light. We are the embodiment of compassion, although we do not always exercise compassion. And unfortunately, we do not always exercise unconditional love towards ourselves and others.

“If you don't love yourself, you cannot love others. You will not be able to love others. If you have no compassion for yourself then you are not able of developing compassion for others.” -Dalai Lama

If we are not fully exercising these innate gifts of love and compassion, is because we have shut ourselves off from them for some reason. Life's traumas, trials and tribulations can cause us to shut down. However, we must remember that in order to not be defeated by the adversity of life, we must always stay open, love, and share compassion with ourselves and with others. When you feel unconditional love towards yourself and others, when you are compassionate towards yourself and others, and when you are able to be forgiving towards yourself and others, you will notice a difference in the types of relationships you have in your life. Using theis elixir will help you to make better choices when it comes to matters of the heart.

We'll begin with Rose essential oil. The rose symbolizes innocence, love, passion, sympathy, desire, luxury and the ideal aesthetic. The healing tradition associated with the rose is no less remarkable than its fragrance and beauty. It was the 17th-century English physician Culpeper who wrote that roses strengthen the heart. He may have been referring to a physical action, but anyone who has inhaled fresh roses or their essential oil knows the aroma strengthens the heart spiritually and emotionally as well. Culpeper attributed other properties to the rose that foreshadowed its current use in aromatherapy and cosmetics. He recommended extract of rose for its cooling and astringent benefits, useful for headache and tired eyes.

Besides being used as a medicine in history, the rose has a long history as a costly perfume. Fresh roses were macerated in hot fat to produce fragrant pomades in ancient India, Greece and Egypt. In Egypt these pomades were shaped into cones and placed on the top of the head. As body heat melted the fat, fragrant, rose-scented oil would trickle down the face and neck.

With the advent of distillation in the 10th century, Persians began extracting rose flower water from fresh roses. An early reference to rose essential oil is mentioned in a legendary Mogul account of the betrothal of a princess named Nour-Djihan to the Emperor Dhihanguyr. The wedding feast was held in a garden surrounded by a canal filled with rose water. As Nour-Djihan and her lover plied the waters in a small boat she noticed a thin film of rose oil on the surface. It was carefully skimmed off and rose essential oil was born.

The difficulty of extracting rose oil from the plant has always caused it to be a very expensive substance. A rose blossom contains only about 0.02% essential oil. It takes about 60,000 roses to produce just 1 ounce of oil, and ten thousand pounds of rose blossoms to produce 1 pound of oil. The best oil is distilled from newly opened flowers, picked in the cool morning hours before the sun has warmed away the aroma.

Aventurine holds the vibration of compassion. Aventurine assists us in perceiving our own life dance, or the dance of others, from the foundation of compassion which understands from inside the human experience all dances, and in so understanding forgives and embraces all others in love regardless of circumstance. Known as the "comfort crystal," aventurine has the capacity to calm a troubled spirit and bring about inner peace. Immerse a piece of adventurine directly in the oil, and set the oil in the center of an aventurine grid.

Chamomile assists in opening the heart and processing the pain inherent in ascension to a biological level. Chamomile will bring comfort in our deepest moments of seeming darkness that we are transcending. In biology, pain is associated with toxic substances one is releasing. Chamomile will attach to such substances and assist them in being removed through the waste management systems.

Chamomile is a good tonic herb to have daily if desired. An infusion, made from 1 oz. of the flowers to 1 pint of boiling water, known popularly as Chamomile Tea, is an old-fashioned but extremely efficacious remedy for stress. It has a wonderfully soothing, sedative ,and absolutely harmless effect.

Place dried Chamomile buds in the gemstone infusion. This powerful oil is wonderful to use in the bath or at the heart chakra so do save some to use in this form.

“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.” -Dalai Lama

Blessings to you on your path!