Gratitude to the Ancient Spirits, the Ancestors, and to Grandmothers with Valentines cookies

My grandmother came to wish me a happy Valentines day. I know this because I smelled the lovely spritz cookies she used to make for me in the shapes of hearts, x's and o's (kisses and hugs). And as I sat in a moment of gratitude, a flock of yellow finches descended into my garden and filled the feeders. Before she passed I told her I would always think of her and feed the finches, it was a joy we shared even in her last days.

Our ancestors are all around us, and though they live outside our dimension of time they are able to come into our world when they choose to. I believe that the spirits of those deceased continue to live in the natural world and have some ability to influence the fate of the living through protection of the family.

"Ancestor Worship" is the one of human history's oldest and most basic religious beliefs although it has no formal doctrines and is ordinarily an aspect of some larger religious system. Ancestor Worship was born of the value placed and the karmic ties that exist between the past, the present and the future.

I invite my ancestors, those known and unknown to me, to be present in my garden, at my medicine wheel, at my altar. Honoring the ancestors is our connection to the past and may be our most direct path to a better future. It is said that the dead live on and are able to influence the lives of later generations who are open to the original family blueprint and purpose. Invocation and offerings are important rituals that can open communication through dreams, meditation, channeling, and even by possession. Many traditions teach that our ancestors reincarnate through their descendants.

In some Asian cultures, the continuity of the family and reverence for the wisdom of the elders seeks to honor the work, memories, and sacrifice of the deceased. Ancestor worship is also practiced in West Africa, Malaysia and Polynesia, and has been traced to the ancient Egyptians and Romans. One of the basis of Ancestor Worship is the belief that those who have gone before have a continual and beneficent interest in the affairs of the living. Also, uneasiness and fear of the dead have inspired practices to placate them. In either case, elaborate altars dedicated to the worship and honor of the ancestors can be found around the globe. Some families assign members to tend to them everyday as a full-time job.

Our attitudes toward the spirits of those passed might range from love, respect, and trust, feelings of reverence and gratitude, to outright fear. But I believe our ancestors compel us, the living, to uphold the ethical standards and original intent of past generations tracing back to the ancient ones. If nothing else, a bit of gratitude to those who paved our ways encourages respect for elders, family harmony and stability.

My grandmother stopped by today to say, "I love you." She brought me cookies. I know that she has maintained contact with me in order to warn me of danger and to give advice and help in my times of greatest need. She is my guardian angel beyond any doubt. But today she only wished to watch me enjoying the finches we both love. My altar, of plastic tubing and Nyger seeds, good enough, holy enough.

May you be blessed!

Attention! You are being ignored!

As some of you know, I've had phone issues for the past week or so.

So this morning I've been struggling to set up a new telephone, and its very complicated somehow. Since I last purchased a telephone there have been many options added, layers of settings, privacy screens, notifications, voice mail connections, forwards to other devices, caller id menus... all ways to stay connected, and when I really thought about it – all ways to ignore people...

...someone has made the effort to reach out to me, someone needs or wants to talk to me, and I am given at least a half-dozen options to pretend that they do not. I am struck by how easy we have made it to ignore and dismiss another human being and we’re convinced it’s not only acceptable, but appropriate.

I got to thinking about the larger phenomena of "being ignored."
I've known that feeling of being ignored.
Have you ever asked a direct question and not been answered?
You have been sent the message, “I think you are insignificant.”
Think about it.

Well, it's rude. Borderline passive/aggressive. And, we have been able to desensitize ourselves from our rude behavior. I'm not talking about needing to take a message when you're engaged elsewhere. And, I'm not talking about clicking the porn queen's unfollow button or hitting the ignore button when faced with the thirteenth invitation to play Mafia Wars. I'm not talking about responding to spam.

I'm talking about choosing to ignore, out of arrogance, or immaturity... or fear.

Love. It's the basis of the human need to connect and should be the starting and ending points of any communication, personal or not. We all need to remember that there are REAL human beings behind the phone calls, emails, texts, and all the other ways we use to communicate with each other.

What happens if you imagine making eye contact with who ever’s request, question, idea or sentiment you’ve chosen to ignore? On a soul level you already are. Pretend what you will.

If someone contacts me and reveals a personal vulnerability, I need to realize that required courage. And courage should always be applauded, validated, and recognized. I think we might need a refresher memo with every new phone, application, and social techno-gadgetry on how to stand up and be human, and do it in a respectful and meaningful way. How to be intentional, transparent, and honest. How to stay human in the virtual world. I'm going to try to be mindful of the temptation to hide behind my technology. I'm going to look you in the eye, wherever you may be.

If you are being ignored, don’t be afraid to speak out. You were given a voice for a reason. But...

"The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them." — Maya Angelou

That's really good advice. Don’t keep going to the same well if the well is dry. If you open up all lines of communication and are still being ignored, that person doesn’t deserve your attention. There are many more wonderful people out there listening for your voice.

May you be blessed!

Image credit: www.zazzle.com/ignored+gifts

Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

There is an elegant humility in every day people who have the ability to get the job done, and do, without drawing attention to themselves. Humility is also alive in the philanthropist who gives an anonymous donation, and in the leader who treats everyone with respect regardless of position. I recall being told by my grandmother that the sign of a good and honest "gentleman" is how he treats those who can be of absolutely no use to him.

There cannot be authenticity without humility.

I know that when I approach situations from a perspective of humility I am readily opened to new possibilities. I can choose open-mindedness and curiosity over protecting my point of view. When I do, I am welcomed in to the wonderful space of the beginner's mind, willing to learn from what others have to offer. As I move away from pushing into allowing, from insecure to secure, I am liberated from seeking approval to seeking enlightenment. I forget about needing to be some particular way, and I enjoy being in the moment. I am freed from the crippling fall of delusional arrogance.

When I am asked to assume a leadership role, I remember to seek others' input. I ask, "OK, how am I doing?"

I know that it takes humility to ask such a question and even more humility to consider the answer. In this simple act, I become authentic. In this simple act I choose open-mindedness and curiosity. This also allows me to share credit for any successes with all, and allows me freedom from pretence, which improves my relationships across all levels.

Humility encourages more openness and paradoxically, it enhances my self-confidence. It opens a window to my higher self. It encourages me to share freely.

In our culture, often the young are worshiped for their technology, unrestrained ambition, and effortless energy. But there is also much to celebrate about earned success, the sacrifice of effort, and experienced perspective. It is a rare young person who can truly appreciate the beauty and contributions of the generations ahead of him or her when offered. It is worth doing, however, because respecting and offering gratitude to the experiences of the elders adds a broadened perspective to to the present experience.

Throughout history, in traditional cultures worldwide, elders have shared their wisdom and visions, and taught each new generation how to care for and about people with humility. Young people need their elders today more than ever. I say to my newly graduated son, and to his contemporaries in medicine, industry, and technology, in your newness, walk in humility, and in the joy of life.

Choose humility and open-mindedness over protecting your next move. Express gratitude and respect to those who play by the rules of a gentleman's game. Because once the game is over, both the king and the pawn go back in the same box.