Standing in the Light

I often browse these blog archives to see what was holding my attention a year ago, two years ago, and even three years ago to the day. I like to discover how my perspective and perception changes over time. On May 3, 2009 I wrote an entry entitled, "I've got your back."

At the time I wrote this particular entry some of the founding members of the fledgling ecommerce site, Bonanzle (later renamed Bonanza) were wondering out loud if management might not have the best interests of its dedicated founding members as a priority...

Many people were beginning to question why a working checkout system and improved search was not being implemented (after 8 months of troubleshooting and serious trouble) in favor of games, distractions and other features which could never improve (and have not improved) the bottom line for sellers without basic functionality in place.

As it became clear that management would not respond directly, but rather issue condescending remarks which gave way to threats and ultimately to censorship of the questions, it was apparent that the working trust had been broken. The game had changed. A general uneasiness, a sense of conflict, suspicion, and alert was widespread. And as sellers were being singled out and picked off, I wanted everyone to know... I saw it and I would stand with them. And so the blog.

My perspective and perception has not changed over time. I will stand, fully illuminated. For you, and for me.

Recently a client asked me for input and help to figure out whether she should feel as violated and hurt as she did in a relationship... was she making a big deal out of nothing, being too sensitive, overreacting? And it occurred to me that we all do this. I did this. We give the benefit of the doubt even as our skin prickles. We freeze in place even as we get the fight or flight signal from our reptilian brains which are still wired to save our lives.

Our feelings are neither good nor bad, they just ARE, so however you feel, you need to honor those feelings. That is your reality. If I am sensing danger, I need to respect that and then examine why... but because I like to avoid confrontation sometimes I just say I am okay with it... I'll just play nice and stuff my feelings...

I'll use my socially-conditioned, friend-seeking, fan-building, people-pleasing skills and numb and dumb myself down into socially-acceptable sleep. And then I wake up and stop it.

I think that we're really seeking is permission to feel what we feel. That was what my client really wanted from me. Validation of her feelings, permission to wake up out of the darkness of deep sleep and say "NO!"

You are the only one who can give yourself that permission to stand in the light of your truth and your feelings, and you are also the only one who can deny yourself that permission. Getting back to the real situation, we teach people how to treat us. If you accept the behavior and elect not to express the true depth of your feelings candidly, you are in essence teaching this person that they may disrespect you by doing it again.

Respect yourself and others will too. It is never okay for anyone to treat you disrespectfully.

If I let someone get away with such behavior, then I think it is actually me who becomes the one who is guilty of disrespecting myself. If I am surrounded by darkness, its because I turned off the light.

And so my advice was this: Always strive to treat yourself, your feelings, and your integrity as you would that of a beloved and respected true friend. You are that true friend. I understand this urge to people-please, and I also understand how damaging it is to one's own spirit.

There's great joy in having someone stand up for you. But it feels even better when you yourself are the one doing it. Learn to seek validation from the only source that really matters, your very own self.
Saying NO can be the biggest YES you'll ever feel!

May you be blessed!

image credit: sherdog.net

Exploring the Core Values of the CEO Club

It's me, Susan Berry, of Oshun Spirit Earth Friendly Goods. At Oshun Spirit, our focus is on personal development, health and wellness, and global consciousness as paths to transformation. Since 1994, my mission has been to support those who share my values and commitment to the well-being of people and the planet, knowing that all positive changes must first come from within ourselves. My business model includes transparency, a commitment to excellence and extraordinary customer service.

And so I closed my store on Bonanza.com. It was a difficult decision to make, but I decided to cut my losses rather than to sell my soul. But that is old news.

About a week ago Bonanza.com CEO Bill Harding started an open group on facebook. A self-proclaimed funny guy, with a known penchant for sarcastic-humor, he named his social drinking and think-tank group with the acronym CHUBS. Now, I know what that means in young-hip-guy-slang but in case you do not, you can look it up here in the urban dictionary. I'll let you decide which definition you want to use. Then you can read the core values of the association.

Unpredictability is an understatement. I just never know when this company is going to come back up on my radar screen. It's like a bad penny so to speak.

Anyway, start-up types are invited to booze with Bill and discuss just how unpredictable they're going to be. Bill states he most often ends up free and thirsty on Mondays, but his boozing can also be unpredictable. So if you are still selling on Bonanza I imagine you can expect enhancements like the condescending shipping notifications to your customers:

"Your order has shipped! Huzzah!
Slip on your celebratin’ shoes and dust off your dancin’ pants — someone’s about to get a big, fat pack of awesome!"

or this trust-inspiring message on the help blog:

"Please do not send payments for merchandise to this address. If you would like to buy an item from a seller, please contact that seller directly. If you send us money, we will take it and use it to buy candy and toys and your item will never arrive."

...on Tuesdays.

I'm not sure if I got the unicorn treatment on a Tuesday or not. Bizzy might have been conceived on a thirsty Monday but then she took some programming and made her debut on Wednesday, April 1 2009. She probably seemed like a great idea at the local watering hole. Note to developers: leave your laptop in its case after your third drink.

No matter. Bill is no longer the CEO directing the trajectory of my company, nor representing it in public. He can booze Monday thru Friday for all I care, and I wish him deep hydration and a lifetime supply of alka-seltzer to help him along. Bless you and your chub chuggin' chums. May you be served free nachos, dudes.

See, hip and professional CAN go hand-in-hand. I was told that early on.

But... I now have a real concern.

A track record of unaccountability to customers, a lack of professional ethics, core values of unpredictability and boozing, and a club name that essentially means "manparts out-of-order" is juvenile and socially akward at best. Maybe even a bit creepy when all else is taken into consideration. 

But more unsettling, and for me scarier than being redrawn as a unicorn, is not being able to change my personal information that they keep. Meeting these guys in this light (their chubs club), for the first time, would I give them access to all my financial information? No.

But they have it. 

This stands now as public record on this date.  Game over.

Business as usual on Bonanza: the gift that keeps on giving

As many of you know, I once had an Oshun Spirit storefront on Bonanzle (since re-branded as Bonanza.com). I no longer sell there because I cannot support the aura, or energy, that surrounds the venue. To make a long story short, their business values and ethics are simply not in alignment with my own. Just as I purchase Fair Trade chocolates and coffee (among other products) to provide a fair wage, a quality working environment, a valuing of identity, and a desire to care for and empower people and their communities in developing nations, I cannot support any organization, or developing venue, that degrades and manipulates their own community and its members. 

But the purpose of my blog today is not to tear down Bonanza or list their failings. Yesterday, through their actions and reactions they proved once again that with their heads in the sand,  they will be the masters of their own demise. In fact, I will take this time to bless my experience with them and thank them for the lessons they have offered me. I am truly grateful for the unfolding of events which prompted me to look closely what is really happening there, and in the world market at large. 

Yesterday, for me, watching the events of the day play out was like receiving a gift of comfirmation. It was the redemption of my intuition and my knowing that if I continue to follow my heart and don't fall prey to what others might want to convince me into thinking, I am, and will continue to be blessed with abundance and joy.

In hindsight I believe that my higher purpose there was not to help build and sell on their new ecommerce venue at all... rather it was to gain an understanding of what my business values truly are, and to evolve my own business "consciousness." Perhaps, so that I might have an understanding to offer to my own clients who wish to evolve their passions and dreams into spiritually aligned, service-oriented businesses... experience is the best teacher after all. Because my clients and customers are in a process of shifting their worldview to a more spiritual and ethical one, they naturally, eventually, shift the way they look at doing business, too. 

We know the world is changing in many ways. There is great suffering, but there is also great joy in the wake of these shifts. Many people are waking up and reassigning meaning in their lives. Beyond earthquakes, volcanoes, and solar flares, the electro magnetic fields which sustain all activities, including business and personal relationships, are changing. I recently read a quote that sums it up quite succinctly:

"Practice business as usual and you will likely have no business to speak of in the new era of authentic business."

Indeed. Now, there is nothing intrinsically un-spiritual about making money. An adventurous, creative, and self-reflective approach to business can have benefits all-round. Believe me, I enjoy the fun things that money can buy! But, both success and failure can lead to self-awareness, spiritual growth and wisdom... which money cannot buy. In fact, I believe that "business" can be, and should be, a deeply moving spiritual practice.

 
I know that people and organizations with higher thoughts and vibrations stimulate others to higher thoughts. That's how we facilitate positive change. It starts with you... but it goes on forever... you know, the ripple effect.

I came, in part, to work on the Bonanzle marketplace because I have long embraced the idea of "giving before receiving" as part of my approach in compliance with the Universal Law of Compensation. But now, I blog.  This simple act gifts prospective clients and customers with ideas, information, and inspiration which they are  seeking, and at the same time helps them feel comfortable about my ability to serve their needs.

But what's really "spiritual" about this approach is that it puts my business in harmony with my soul's divine design for my life. Running around after a buck doesn't sound like a life plan to me. Getting in tune with my inner purpose and making it work to improve the lives of people around me, does. And remembering that helped me to move forward.

When you think about it, there is a tremendous amount of time, energy, money, and effort that goes into pretending that things are one way, when they are actually completely different. If your model is efficiency and sustainability, that old model of manipulation and "smoke and mirrors marketing" and endless self-promotion is insanity. Raising the vibration of yourself and your business might prove better marketing. 

If you want your business to make a difference in the world, simply find ways to raise your own vibratory energy, as individuals and in your groups. You already know how: prayer, meditation, service, giving, time spent in nature, making love... being loving, having fun! Your customers cannot help but to get an energy boost too. They might not know why, but they'll feel lighter, happier and more at ease. They will want to be around you, and use your products and services because your energy feels so good! 

I know that once I remembered the vision I held for my "divine" life, and started to follow it in my everyday business dealings, I found that my business decisions became easy and intuitive, heartfelt, and clients were magnetically attracted to my sense of "sureness of purpose."  I immediately began reaping abundant rewards from the higher energy seeds I had sown. Simply by leaving Bonanza I stopped the bleed of the tremendous amount of time, energy and effort that went into pretending things were different that I knew them to be in my heart. Once I got heart-centered again, I started making money again, effortlessly.

I must say also, that like any spiritual pursuit that leads to growth, having a transparent, service-oriented,  and authentic business model will challenge you. Synchronicity and it's inspirational lessons would lead to my booth's functionality being manipulated for almost two months, limiting my ability to do any business at all. I was censored, and finally suspended from the Bonanza forum because I spoke the truth about the experience on behalf of the community of sellers there who remained unaware of the business practices they too were immersed in.

But it is difficult to unsettle the wise man or woman. The ethical maturity of one who approaches life and business with a spiritual perspective is likely to make him/her more settled, confident, and detached than the typical ego-centered, profit driven businessperson. This detachment is not apathy, but the relaxed mindfulness of a person who is able to see that regardless of the ebb and flow of life, and the up and downs of business, that there is something behind it all that is unmoving – the Spirit. 

And, in the end this is the greatest asset for us all as we go about doing business in the marketplace.

May you be blessed!

image credit: mousemusings.com