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Sunday, May 24, 2009

Do you do love spells?

Many people try to force things to happen in their lives, especially in matters of the heart. Every week I receive at least one inquiry to do a "love spell." Usually the person would like to attract their soul mate, or meet someone new, soon! Sometimes the request is to reunite with their lover who has recently ended their romantic relationship. But always the question is, in its essence, "Can you make him or her love me? Right now? Today?" There is the hope that I can somehow instantly summon this perfect love into their life with pure magic.

Do I do love spells? The answer is no. And here's why...

Asking for a love spell makes the assumption that power to love is outside of you. It says to the universe, "I just can't do this, I'll pay someone else to." But you can. Personal growth requires individual effort. No one can make changes or create your life for you. You have the ability to create your own "spell" using techniques of visualization, spiritual healing and meditation in concert with the natural, loving energies that surround all of us. You are able to use these energies and connect to the Universe to make your desires become realities. In supporting a forced relationship I would be interfering with the natural unfolding of your life and your mastery of it.

Even if I would bend probability to favor opportunity, for someone to partner in your life you have to do your part. A romantic relationship is an interchange between two people that offers each the opportunity to know the deepest part of oneself better. Relationships are alive! They are talking mirrors that give us ongoing feedback about how our Spirits are evolving. Relationships are sacred!

When you ask for a manipulation of the mirror, or force a relationship, you deny the inherent spiritual qualities of love. Loving relationships are the holy exchanges in which our souls create an opportunity for spiritual awareness and growth. When we recognize this, we understand that unions cannot be forced without creating a great deal of confusion, struggle and despair. Truly, the best way to attract love is to hold a clear idea in your mind of the qualities you're looking for in a partner (and in a vessel such as a journal, dream board or crystal grid) and to develop a good, loving relationship with yourself.

Sometimes it is beneficial to consult and invite the intelligence and wisdom of something beyond ourselves. But when someone pays for a love spell, that person is missing the opportunity to work on the most beautiful aspect of their own spirit with the Divine. Real magic happens when we align ourselves with Universal Love and move in harmony with that alignment. We may not always get the results we want immediately, but we will most certainly get the right results in accordance with our highest good.

So, if you are wanting to meet someone new, or experience a more loving relationship, first ask yourself these questions: How ready are you for a relationship? What changes do you need to make first? For something or someone to enter your life, you may find that you first have to make a shift. I personally think prayer and meditation are good substitutes for a love spell. And, a metaphysician can help you gain perspective and understanding of what that shift might entail. In a metaphysical counseling session, I might suggest that you look at the energies and beliefs that you have in various areas in your life that might need to be reinterpreted, reinforced, and then acted upon.

For example, you may have to let go of a hurt you experienced in a previous relationship. You may need to strengthen your self-confidence and build your sense of inner security. (You cannot attract a relationship if you think that you don't deserve one!) Sometimes, creating some time and space for a relationship may be necessary both mentally, emotionally and physically. To have and maintain a relationship, you must make room for it. Often the answer lies in the fact that you may need to develop a new concept of what a relationship is. Some of us hold onto an old idea, often a broken idea of what a relationship is, based on our parents example or ideas we have adopted from media and culture. Insight must always be followed with action to create!

In that creation, always, we eventually discover that the relationship we are really seeking is that with our higher self and the Divine. The most important relationship you will ever have is with Spirit.

We cannot make someone love us. But we can learn to love ourselves, and to love the part we play in the dance of life. Then, let the Universe unfold as it was meant to for your own deepest, most fulfilling experience of love. That is the real magic!

May you be blessed!