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Saturday, January 29, 2011

Holding the space for love

Mark Milner. Classical Ballet Dancer, Kundalini Yoga Instructor, Traditional Reiki Master, Indigo Child, Fully Illuminated Being.

I met Mark about six years ago and was immediately awestruck by his depth of wisdom, compassion, and understanding. He contains more light in his slight being than I have ever seen emmenate from any man, except maybe Gandhi. (Well, in fact it spills out all around him, there is no container!) Mark and I became instant friends, and life-long kindred spirits by the second minute of our very first conversation, and our friendship remains a treasure in my life.

Mark is an Angel on this Earth. I have no doubt.

One of the first things we talked about together was his desire to have children, to be a birth-father to children he could feel wanting to come through him. It was odd he should tell this to a virtual stranger, but I assured him, I agreed. I could feel their presence, too!

But here is the tricky part. Mark is gay. So that makes the entire process a bit complicated outside of adoption. Do-able, but difficult. And Mark was and is committed, and comfortable in the knowing the process would be long and not without profound soul-written lessons. Over the years  he has shared his journey with me, and I am always left marveling at the fertility and motherhood I often take for granted, sacred experiences so priceless and precious...

Mark has taught me gratitude, and humility, by allowing me to view the world through his beautiful eyes.

I recently read Mark quoted in an article in Time for Families. He wrote:

Some of us are just meant to be parents. I love the line in Eat, Pray, Love where one of the characters says, “Parenthood is like getting a tattoo on your face. You kind of need to be fully committed.” I’ve never had a question of commitment to this dream, as it’s been with me for so long.

 I read on...

The way that I can explain it best is this: It’s not so much that I want to be a father as much as I feel that my children want to be born. To some, that might sound totally nuts and most would say that it’s an excuse. Parenthood… especially with your own biology… can seem really selfish, after all. 

Well, I quietly wondered if that was the case in my situation but recently realized just how little this has to do with me. When I visited the fertility clinic in Atlanta for the first time, it came to my attention that I can “will” the embryos to somebody in the event of my passing. It was then that I realized if I unexpectedly die, I still want at least two of those embryos to become children. 

They have been knocking on my “spiritual window” for my whole life and they deserve a chance at life, even if I cannot be there in physical form to observe it. I will choose a deserving couple and will make sure that regardless of what happens to me, they will get to experience life on this planet.

I recently talked with Mark about his decision to go ahead and begin this process of freezing sperm and finding an egg donor and surrogate. I wanted to know what I could do to support his dream, knowing there needs to be energetic support and lots of love as well as financial currency in alignment for the process to continue...

I asked that I might share his story and he was open to that, in fact his response was:

"Even if people choose not to help, I want them to be moved and inspired to go after their own dreams... and to cause a ripple effect."

Meet Mark Milner. My friend, my teacher, and the father to the dear ones who have stayed with him for as long as I have known him. Yes, they are tapping at his spiritual window.  I hope that you will take a moment to read the article that is linked below. Perhaps you can help to hold open the door and welcome them to our family.

May you be blessed!


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